Epistle To Augusta
by George Gordon, Lord Byron

(Composed: July 1816)


    1
  1.      My Sister! my sweet Sister! if a name
  2.      Dearer and purer were, it should be thine.
  3.      Mountains and seas divide us, but I claim
  4.      No tears, but tenderness to answer mine:
  5.      Go where I will, to me thou art the same—
  6.      A lov’d regret which I would not resign.
  7.      There yet are two things in my destiny—
  8.   A world to roam through, and a home with thee.

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  9.      The first were nothing—had I still the last,
  10.      It were the haven of my happiness;
  11.      But other claims and other ties thou hast,
  12.      And mine is not the wish to make them less.
  13.      A strange doom is thy father’s son’s, and past
  14.      Recalling, as it lies beyond redress;
  15.      Revers’d for him our grandsire’s fate of yore,—
  16.   He had no rest at sea, nor I on shore.

    3
  17.      If my inheritance of storms hath been
  18.      In other elements, and on the rocks
  19.      Of perils, overlook’d or unforeseen,
  20.      I have sustain’d my share of worldly shocks,
  21.      The fault was mine; nor do I seek to screen
  22.      My errors with defensive paradox;
  23.      I have been cunning in mine overthrow,
  24.   The careful pilot of my proper woe.

    4
  25.      Mine were my faults, and mine be their reward.
  26.      My whole life was a contest, since the day
  27.      That gave me being, gave me that which marr’d
  28.      The gift,—a fate, or will, that walk’d astray;
  29.      And I at times have found the struggle hard,
  30.      And thought of shaking off my bonds of clay:
  31.      But now I fain would for a time survive,
  32.   If but to see what next can well arrive.

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  33.      Kingdoms and empires in my little day
  34.      I have outliv’d, and yet I am not old;
  35.      And when I look on this, the petty spray
  36.      Of my own years of troubles, which have roll’d
  37.      Like a wild bay of breakers, melts away:
  38.      Something—I know not what—does still uphold
  39.      A spirit of slight patience;—not in vain,
  40.   Even for its own sake, do we purchase Pain.

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  41.      Perhaps the workings of defiance stir
  42.      Within me—or, perhaps, a cold despair
  43.      Brought on when ills habitually recur,—
  44.      Perhaps a kinder clime, or purer air,
  45.      (For even to this may change of soul refer,
  46.      And with light armour we may learn to bear),
  47.      Have taught me a strange quiet, which was not
  48.   The chief companion of a calmer lot.

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  49.      I feel almost at times as I have felt
  50.      In happy childhood; trees, and flowers, and brooks,
  51.      Which do remember me of where I dwelt
  52.      Ere my young mind was sacrific’d to books,
  53.      Come as of yore upon me, and can melt
  54.      My heart with recognition of their looks;
  55.      And even at moments I could think I see
  56.   Some living thing to love—but none like thee.

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  57.      Here are the Alpine landscapes which create
  58.      A fund for contemplation;—to admire
  59.      Is a brief feeling of a trivial date;
  60.      But something worthier do such scenes inspire:
  61.      Here to be lonely is not desolate,
  62.      For much I view which I could most desire,
  63.      And, above all, a Lake I can behold
  64.   Lovelier, not dearer, than our own of old.

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  65.      Oh that thou wert but with me!—but I grow
  66.      The fool of my own wishes, and forget
  67.      The solitude which I have vaunted so
  68.      Has lost its praise in this but one regret;
  69.      There may be others which I less may show;—
  70.      I am not of the plaintive mood, and yet
  71.      I feel an ebb in my philosophy,
  72.   And the tide rising in my alter’d eye.

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  73.      I did remind thee of our own dear Lake,
  74.      By the old Hall which may be mine no more.
  75.      Leman’s is fair; but think not I forsake
  76.      The sweet remembrance of a dearer shore:
  77.      Sad havoc Time must with my memory make
  78.      Ere that or thou can fade these eyes before;
  79.      Though, like all things which I have lov’d, they are
  80.   Resign’d for ever, or divided far.

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  81.      The world is all before me; I but ask
  82.      Of Nature that with which she will comply—
  83.      It is but in her Summer’s sun to bask,
  84.      To mingle with the quiet of her sky,
  85.      To see her gentle face without a mask,
  86.      And never gaze on it with apathy.
  87.      She was my early friend, and now shall be
  88.   My sister—till I look again on thee.

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  89.      I can reduce all feelings but this one;
  90.      And that I would not;—for at length I see
  91.      Such scenes as those wherein my life begun—
  92.      The earliest—even the only paths for me—
  93.      Had I but sooner learnt the crowd to shun,
  94.      I had been better than I now can be;
  95.      The Passions which have torn me would have slept;
  96.   I had not suffer’d, and thou hadst not wept.

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  97.      With false Ambition what had I to do?
  98.      Little with Love, and least of all with Fame;
  99.      And yet they came unsought, and with me grew,
  100.      And made me all which they can make—a Name.
  101.      Yet this was not the end I did pursue;
  102.      Surely I once beheld a nobler aim.
  103.      But all is over—I am one the more
  104.   To baffled millions which have gone before.

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  105.      And for the future, this world’s future may
  106.      From me demand but little of my care;
  107.      I have outliv’d myself by many a day,
  108.      Having surviv’d so many things that were;
  109.      My years have been no slumber, but the prey
  110.      Of ceaseless vigils; for I had the share
  111.      Of life which might have fill’d a century,
  112.   Before its fourth in time had pass’d me by.

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  113.      And for the remnant which may be to come
  114.      I am content; and for the past I feel
  115.      Not thankless,—for within the crowded sum
  116.      Of struggles, Happiness at times would steal,
  117.      And for the present, I would not benumb
  118.      My feelings further.—Nor shall I conceal
  119.      That with all this I still can look around,
  120.   And worship Nature with a thought profound.

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  121.      For thee, my own sweet sister, in thy heart
  122.      I know myself secure, as thou in mine;
  123.      We were and are—I am, even as thou art—
  124.      Beings who ne’er each other can resign;
  125.      It is the same, together or apart,
  126.      From Life’s commencement to its slow decline
  127.      We are entwin’d—let Death come slow or fast,
  128.   The tie which bound the first endures the last!

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